Are relationships easy? This seems to be the illusion of people who aren't in them. I remember when people were whining and whimpering about how hard their life was, I used to roll my eyes and think "Whatever Dude! You have someone who loves you and you love them. Be happy! It can't be that hard." But you just do not know until you are in their shoes. Just because you love someone does not mean you can stop trying to do right or can stop making decisions.

 I think most people in relationships are more worried about themselves not being good enough that their partners will not attain. You can't just be cool and confident with yourself anymore no matter what you choose to do. Because now there is another person to think of. And no longer is it going to affect just you if your life blows up. Before it didn't really matter if you didn't know how to cook or you didn't keep up-to-date with God or you cursed in volleyball. Well it did but it wasn't like it would hurt or shame anyone but yourself. But when you get into a relationship it's not all about them and what you want them to be. It's about: how can I help them be the happiest and most fulfilled?

 Love is doing what's best for the other person. And you cannot do what's best for the other person if you have your head up in cloud "ME". You must be the best person you can be. You have to consider another's wishes. You have to be willing to realize that you aren't too perfect yourself and you have to forgive. You shouldn't assume anything. And you have to be open and very, very honest. You will not get more than you give.

 Ever since I started dating my family keeps asking, "What's up? You're quieter than you used to be." And all I can do is shrug. I have been so immature and self-centered. It's like I suddenly have this urgent need to listen and think. I want to sit and absorb all the wisdom and advice and  knowledge that is around me. Filing it away in case I ever need it. I want to learn to really hear people. Lalla is so good at that. We'll be talking about a conversation that we heard earlier and it's like she hears the emotion where all I hear is the situation and am thinking up a solution. I didn't really give a hoot whether people were in need to be heard out or not, if they got too personal, bam. I was gone. Nobody got close. It wasn't safe. And now I'm supposed to be all open... It's tough. Small talk is much easier.

 And you know what is so mind boggling and scary but wonderful. That they think you are better than you think you are. There is nothing that makes you want and try to be a better person than when you don't want to disappoint someone you love. You may have really thought you were "The Person" but when you really look around you realize that you are just a normal person that's got it no better and no worse than anyone else. Suddenly you realize that your opinion of yourself isn't necessarily the one that matters the most. Those that love you are the ones that matter... It's what's real that matters. 

 But "What is REAL?" asked the Velviteen Rabbit one day...?
 

 "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." 

 "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once." said the skin hourse...
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

 Some people may never understand and appreciate the REAL you. But the ones that want to, will.

And it is DEFINITELY worth it. :) :) :) because no matter how ugly you think you are,
that special someone that loves you believes you are the most beautiful and irresistable thing on earth and nothing can ever change that.

 The bestest of the best to y'all, Amanda